Losing a child to gun violence is something a mother never gets over. But the newly created group, Mothers of Murdered Sons (MOMS), is available to help families cope with the devastating loss.
Tina Ford’s life changed forever when her son, 23-year-old Armani Ford, was shot to death earlier this year on April 26.
“I was in the hair salon and my uncle called and said Armani had got shot and did I hear anything,” recalled Ford, a lifelong Clairton resident. “Other calls began to come in and I got the call that my son was killed.”
Instead of paying for therapy, Ford went to her sisters in Clairton to help her navigate the anger, hate and loneliness associated with losing a loved one to gun violence and started MOMS.
TINA FORD, mother of Armani Ford
“I started the group for my purposes,” Ford told the New Pittsburgh Courier in an exclusive interview in November. “What I did was I reached out to women in the community that were going through the same experience, but they had a little more experience in how to deal with certain things. I really did it to understand where would I be once I get to where they are at. So I can understand if I wake up every morning and cry or if I’m angry or can’t go to work, I need to know how to shift that into something positive.”
Armani served as quarterback for the Clairton Bears and completed his high school career with 2,000 passing yards and helped the Bears win its fourth PIAA Class A Championship and its fifth consecutive WPIAL title in 2013. He also played for the school’s baseball and basketball teams. In addition to his sports endeavors, Armani enjoyed fishing with his dad, hanging out with friends and traveling. He took his first trip aboard to Mexico at age 2.
“Armani constantly smiled. He was mild-mannered and he was a good leader,” said Tina Ford, of her son. “I used to always say, ‘How are you a good leader out in these streets, but you can’t take the garbage out?’”
Tina Ford looked to friend Annette Halcomb, whose son Kenneth Lamont Ward Jr. (also known to friends as “Big Skin”) was shot in McKeesport in 2004, to help create the group.
Ward was loving, nurturing and a father figure to his younger siblings. The 6-foot-tall gentle giant was a member of the Clairton Bears football team and was also 23 years old when he was shot and killed.
“It took the loss of Armani to start a moms group,” said Halcomb, who serves as the Mothers of Murdered Sons co-founder. “I always went to funerals when people have kids that are murdered, and I whisper into their loved ones’ ear: ‘I’ve been there’ and I walk away. I didn’t know how to start a group but with Tina’s vision we have this group.”
Anitra Meade-Lyles, whose brother, Voltaire “Volt” Meade, was gunned down in McKeesport in 2012, agreed with Halcomb.
ANITRA MEADE-LYLES, sister of Voltaire “Volt” Meade
“Mothers of Murdered Sons has allowed me to get more in tune with my emotions,” she said. “Before joining the group, I felt like I had to be strong for everyone else. But this is a safe place. We all relate to each other’s pain. The group has made us a stronger family. This makes me feel that I am doing something on his behalf. The group gave me clarity on how I was adjusting to my brother’s death. Now I’m all in. It feels good to have personal support and to be able to support people.”
Meade-Lyles serves as secretary for MOMS and originally joined the group in August to support her mother.
“Volt” Meade was the owner of McKeesport-
based Meade Brothers Trucking Inc. He was a family man and a problem solver. The Clairton High School graduate enjoyed hunting, fishing and spending time with his three children.
The group meets every third Tuesday of the month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at First United Methodist Church, 500 Thompson Ave., Clairton. Newcomers are always welcome. Different topics are discussed during each meeting and each member talks about what the topics mean to them. There are currently 12 members in Mothers of Murdered Sons and the ladies hail from Clairton, McKeesport and as far away as Forest Hills. For more information on Mothers of Murdered Sons, contact Ford at 412-219-7157.
“The last one we picked was loneliness and each lady went around and talked about what loneliness feels to them and how it affects them,” Ford said.
Since starting Mothers of Murdered Sons, Ford and her band of moms had a fish fry at Clairton Park over the summer, catching 1,000 pieces of fish and selling countless dinners. MOMS also held a turkey drive, giving out 150 turkeys to Clairton residents. She also held a MOMSologue event at Clairton High School in November where seven women told stories in dialogue form about where they were when they received the shocking phone call of their loved one’s murder.
“We put people in the place of our personal experience of receiving that phone call or contact that your loved one has been shot or a victim of any violent crime,” explained Meade-Lyles. “We took you on that journey.”
The event was such a success, Ford said, that she’s in negotiations with Pittsburgh-area theaters to do the MOMSologue inside Pittsburgh city limits.
The members of MOMS hope to attend the Circle of Mothers event in May 2020. The organization was created by Sybrina Fulton, mother of Trayvon Martin, as a weekend retreat for mothers who have lost a child to gun violence.
“I took on Armani’s faith and I knew I had to get myself together,” Ford said. “I started a whole new life. Armani always told me to ‘tell my story right’ and through Mons of Murdered Sons that’s what I’m going to do.”
ANNETTE HALCOMB, ANITRA MEADE-LYLES AND TINA FORD remember and honor their loved ones who were killed by gun violence. (Photo by Genea L. Webb) (Feature photo)
by Genea L. Webb, For New Pittsburgh Courier
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