I recently had a conversation with my favorite sports prognosticator, Monsieur “Foghorn Leghorn.” The reason why I called him was because I was trying to get his favorite recipe for hot wings, (he is a bit cannibalistic) but he would have none of it.
After he gave me his great, great, great grandfather’s recipe, (I suspect he got the recipe from the internet) he insisted upon talking about his and Snoop Dogg’s favorite NFL squad the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Foghorn was as usual a “legend in his own mind.” “I say, the black and gold are seeking their seventh, I say, I say their seventh Vincent Lombardi trophy this year and it might not be as farfetched as all of the, all of the fantasy football owners and general managers were saying just a few weeks ago.
See, after Benjamin, I say Steelers quarterback Big Ben Roethlisberger was hurtin and was almost in street clothes for the rest of the season. But somethin strange and unusual happened. The “haterade brigade” had pronounced the season of the Steelers as dead and transported the remains of the season to the funeral home to be prepared for burial.
The corpse otherwise known as the Pittsburgh Steelers jumped up and began to dance with a very startled mortician at the Cincy Bungles funeral parlor just as the chief undertaker “Scarvin Tewlis” was preparing to embalm the body.”
At that point because of the morbid details, I was forced to interrupt Mr. Leghorn. I said, “Well sir, I can empathize with your emotional attachment with the Black and Gold but I really have to go, I thank you for calling, God bless and have a happy Thanksgiving.”
Okay yinz, even though ole Foghorn has a lil bit of furniture missing from the attic, he still has a very unique southern gentlemanly way to express his opinion (he also makes one helluva mint julep), but there was a bit of truth to his observations.
Steelers starting running back, LeVeon Bell was suspended by the NFL for the first two games of the 2015 season after being arrested, charged, with DUI, tried and sentenced for allegedly smoking “medical marijuana” for a rare medical condition called “gethighitis.” This rare medical condition is more commonly known as the “LeGarrette Blount” syndrome. And on top of that after Mr. Bell is cured of “gethighitis” the Cincinnati “Bungles” came swaggering into Heinz Field and during a play where Mr. Bell appeared to be heading out of bounds, tackled Bell using a “questionable,” I say, I mean a “suspect” takedown method, seriously injuring Bell’s knee and ending his 2015 season.”
This 2015 season for the Pittsburgh Steelers sort, kind reminds me of the classic TV show “The Outer Limits,” where everything is never as it appears. Just when you count the Steelers out, you better put on your dancing shoes and check the corpse for signs of life because with the Steelers you just never know.
They were a 5th seed wildcard team in 2005 and they went on to win Super Bowl XL. This is the 10th anniversary of that “one for the thumb” victory. The Pittsburgh Steelers are not yet ghosts’ and judging from past their experiences they have no fear of the living or the dead.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, its show time. “If somthin’s going on in the NFL, who you gonna call? Pittsburgh Steelers. They ain’t fraid of no Bengals.” (Thanks to Ray Parker Jr.)
Aubrey Bruce can be reached at: abruce@newpittsburghcourier.com or 412.583.6741
He is also a contributing columnist urbanmediatoday.com
Follow him on Twitter@ultrascribe
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