SPECIAL NOTE: After Aaron Hernandez got the news he was going to spend the rest of his natural born days in the pokey, I was motivated to give you the ultimate Top 10 dumbest athletic crimes in history. HHHEEERRREEE WE GO! (Thanks to my Eat ‘N Park buddy Tim and Dillon for your help on this.)
No. 1—By far, Aaron Hernandez killing “his friend” Lloyd Oden with a $40 million contract on the table starts the list at No. 1. With friends like Hernandez, who needs enemies? (Meanwhile, with $40 mil in my hip pocket, I could hire any crack head to do the deed…If we go to court, who’s the judge gonna believe? I’m just saying! (And for what it’s worth, don’t let your lawyer say you were at the scene of the crime!
No. 2—In at a very close second, and I do mean close second, Carolina wide receiver Ray Carruth for having two equally dumb guys follow and kill his pregnant wife. The only thing dumber was Ray Ray hiding in the trunk of his car as the police closed in.
No. 3—If he did it…and I do mean if because he was found not guilty, but if O.J. slashed the throats of two people in cold blood and then after being acquitted wrote a book called “If I Did It” that would be double dumb!
No. 4—Your Pete Rose…not Pete Smith…not Pete Johnson…your Pete Rose, the King of Baseball, in virtually every category, and you bet on baseball. That’s dumb for 4,262 reasons (That’s how many hits he had you knucklehead!)
No. 5—The South African with the magic legs, Oscar Pistorius, shot and killed his girlfriend in his home and claimed he thought there was an intruder in his house. You mean to tell me ya just start shooting. You don’t holler. You don’t ask questions. You don’t fire one in the ceiling? C’mon man!
No. 6—All I know is this, if you’re Nate Newton, Dallas Cowboy, big as all outdoors, driving a big Benz, driving that big Benz in Texas, and you’re hauling a trunk full of drugs…your dumb ass needs to be locked up. Do you know how many bums would take that job for $1,000. Then all you have to say is he stole my car!
No. 7—I know there were a lot of people doing “roids” in the ’80 s and ’90 s and I am not going to the baseball guys that did…I am just not. It was too well known and accepted, but for Olympic 100 yard dash sprinter Ben Johnson to shoot up for the Olympics when the whole world was watching…pretty dumb!
No. 8—I know you yinzer’s don’t want to hear this, but Ernie “Fats” Holmes shooting at the State Police chopper tracking him down the interstate has to make the top ten. As bad as that was, truth be told, he’s lucky he didn’t kill anyone or that they didn’t kill him. (Rest in peace “Fats.”)
No. 9—You didn’t think for one minute that Tanya Harding was not going to make this list for what she did to Nancy Kerrigan. Clearly she wins the dumbest most not thought out plan in sports crime history. Having someone beat your opponent with a baseball bat. Really!! Who did you think they were going to blame.
No. 10—This a tough fit, but I have to get it in because it was so stupid and evil and my connection is they played tennis, but the Menendez brothers killing their parents for the money and saying rape has to make the list.
~ GAME OVER ~