James “Thuggie” and Patricia Taylor, of Verona, have always had a special place in their hearts for giving to those in need. Even before they were wed, some 47 years ago, they would help children in the Hill District by providing them with food, taking them to the park and even buying the children clothes when they barely had bread on their own table.
Now, more than four decades and four adult children, 15 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren later, the Taylors are still reaching out to those in need by providing a loving home and a sense of family to those who, unfortunately, are unfamiliar with those concepts.
For 23 years the Taylors have opened up their hearts, lives and home as foster parents to 11 youth in the Allegheny County Children, Youth and Families system through Pressley Ridge, an organization that works to serve young people and families in six states who have not been successful in other environments. Of those 11 youth, the Taylors have adopted five. And what makes their story even more heart warming is that while most people are looking to open their homes to babies, the Taylors, who are an interracial couple by most people’s standards and just a normal, loving couple by their own, opened their home to African-American pre-teens or teenagers, an age group that is often overlooked or undesired.
“I don’t look at race and to have Black children, I’m proud. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Those are our boys, and Thuggie and I, we’re proud of each one of them,” Patricia, who is White, said about her family. “All our matches with children have been good. I have not been disappointed and would not change one thing about these past 23 years. I have been blessed. My blessings aren’t small, they’re big.”
In Allegheny County, according to Walter Howard Smith Jr., PhD, deputy director of the Allegheny County Department of Human Services Office of Children, Youth and Families, there are 47 youths waiting to be permanently matched with families. Of those 47, 32 are African-American youth. He also said about 40 percent of those African-Americans are teenagers.
“These are kids who, through no fault of their own, have been a victim of circumstances and need a sense of community, of family and belonging,” said Smith. “We want kids to find a permanent family so that when they get to be 19 and 29 and 39, they have a sense of family. It’s not enough to grow up in a program and then you get to be 18, or 19, or 21 and suddenly you’re on your own. That’s not good enough. We want kids to have a strong sense that through their lives they are part of something called family, so that they can depend on and use family as a foundation through which they can live a better life.”
While there can be a number of reasons why youth end up in the system, such as the death of a parent and where no other family member is available, Smith said the top reason is because of neglect—where a parent cannot provide adequate care or supervision for a child—and there is no one else in the family to take over.
Smith went on to say, “I’m very proud of the Taylors. They’ve done a fabulous job and have made a difference in the lives of those teenagers.”
The Taylors, who are now in their seventies, began taking in youths after their biological children had “left the nest” and James, who had suffered from a heart attack, was laid up at home. They were looking for something to do and someone mentioned to them that Pressley Ridge had a program where they could receive training to become foster parents. In tune with their giving spirit, along with feeling like they had a lot to offer and recognizing that the need to help pre-teens and teenagers was so great, the Taylors completed the training, became certified and received their clearances.
James Taylor Jr., owner of JT’s at the Club in Monroeville and one of the Taylors’ sons, admits that when his parents first approached him and his siblings with the idea of being foster parents he was a little leery.
“I thought they were doing it for the money because you hear people talk about how great the money is,” he said. “But as more and more (kids) came, I could see what the kids meant to mom and dad and how their heart was really in it. Especially when you could see the change in the kids.”
He added, “Mom and dad are amazing and very, very patient. And, without a doubt, loving. If you weren’t loving, there’s no way on God’s earth you’d be into this. You couldn’t handle it.”
But James Jr. wasn’t the only one not open to the idea of adding to their family. He said when his parents first began to take in new youth, in the ‘90s, the neighbors were not so supportive. He recalled a time when one of the neighbors on their, then, predominantly White-street had called his “new brother,” who was Black and, as he describes, physically strong and able to run up trees, a “kunta kid.”
But over time, the Taylors say the community has changed and so has James Jr. Now, he sees each one of the boys as his brothers.
Robert, 17, the newest addition to the Taylor household as of two-years ago and who is a student at Penn Hills High School and attends Forbes Road Career & Technology Center in Monroeville for culinary arts, said, “It’s a real nice experience to feel loved and wanted. From where I was and where I am now, I never would’ve thought I’d turn into the person I am today. She looked at me and said, ‘he can become something.’”
Robert was matched with the Taylors after his foster mother had died and he had been in a shelter. Now, since being with the Taylors, he assists at JT’s and one day hopes to do the same thing they have done for him—adopt an older child and give them a life.
When asked what he would say to the Taylors to express his appreciation, Robert said, “Thank you wouldn’t be the appropriate words. I can show them how I feel better than I can tell them. (I can do that) by becoming something or someone. What they saw in me, that I didn’t see in myself, I want to be what they saw.”
Like Robert, the Taylors’ other son Anthony is just as grateful. Anthony, 19, and who is in his senior year at Penn Hills High School, was matched with the Taylors approximately 10 years ago. He had had an abusive life and was unable to read. With love and nurture, the Taylors helped him. Now, he reads every evening and participates in the Project SEARCH High School Transition Program, a one-year school-to-work program that provides hands on experience by taking place entirely at the workplace. He is training with UPMC Mercy Hospital in the dietary, maintenance and linen departments.
“I know mom and dad care about me, they love me and would do everything for me. They support me and I wouldn’t ask for better parents than them,” he said. “I love them to death.”
Anthony said if it was not for the Taylors he would probably be locked up or dead.
Like Anthony, the Taylor’s youngest son, Jordan, 15, says he is lucky to have been matched with the Taylors as well.
“I’m glad you guys found me because if you guys wouldn’t have, I would be out there doing dumb things,” Jordan, who has spent the last five or six years with the Taylors, said to his parents. “I’m lucky to have you guys, have a family who loves me and everything I need.”
While Patricia did not get into the details of her son’s past, she did say, “Jordan has come a long way. He’s made accomplishments that are major.”
Jordan, a freshman at Penn Hills High School, is in the ROTC program and, like his brother, attends Forbes Road Career &Technology Center where he is training to be an EMT.
Although Robert, Anthony and Jordan are just three of the five sons to be adopted, Patricia is extremely proud of all her children. “We did good by these boys. We made our mark. Pat and Thuggie’s boys, can’t nobody tell me nothing about our boys.”
When asked why they do what they do, James simply said, “It’s in our hearts. We love kids.”
Patricia, who is also the president of the Pressley Ridge Parent Advisory Committee, said all her placements have been for long periods of time and sees them as being a success, meaning the youths only left her home to be reunited with their families. She credits CYF and Pressley Ridge with a lot of the family’s success.
She explained that it begins with having a strong foundation, agencies that really support their families and give them the proper education and training; and then it trickles into the family unit.
“It takes everyone being on the same page,” Patricia said. “I never had a problem getting help from either agency when I needed it; and that’s what it takes—having great advocates.”
She said it also takes listening to the child, really having a vested interest in them and connecting with them. “You have to want to know about the child, it’s not just words. If you care enough you find what’s important and that’s how you connect. I listen; I want to know.”
Patricia also credits her husband for their family’s success. She said there is no better role model her children could have.
Like most families, there have been hardships, but Patricia said the key to getting through them is not dwelling on the negative and leaning on one’s support system.
Amy Fenn, senior director of the Western PA Pressley Ridge office, said the Taylors were a perfect match for Pressley Ridge because their agency specializes in matching older children with families.
“They have a nice combination of being firm and having expectations, but also giving the kids enough space to make mistakes. That’s an important skill when taking-in teens. (The Taylors) are really skilled foster parents, and I’m sure parents too; but fostering is just a unique situation and it requires a whole new set of skills,” Fenn said of the Taylors over the years. “I’m just incredibly impressed. There are almost situations that just don’t work out, but that’s not the case here. A lot of people want to foster little kids, but to have people who really enjoy taking in teens, that’s just the best situation we could find.”
Fenn agreed that the Taylors have never had a disruption and said, “all their endings have been positive.”
As for the youth that the Taylors did not adopt, Patricia said they still keep in touch with her today. “Their hearts are warm, they don’t forget. Anyone could come back to get a meal. The door is always open. If they need that warmth of a home, they know where they can find it,” she said.
Although they are in their seventies, the Taylors said if the right child came along and needed a home, they would most certainly open their doors again.
“We would never close our heart or our door; we’ve been too open to helping to protect and groom children to become strong, healthy, able-bodied adults,” said Patricia.
The family has a strong love and respect for each other and that, she said, is the foundation.
“It takes a village and you have to be an active part.” Patricia thanks Pressley Ridge, CYF and the community for being an active part in her family’s lives.
On Saturday, Nov. 22, families who, like the Taylors, have decided to step up, and share their hearts and homes with youth in need, will be celebrated during National Adoption Day. On that day, adoptions for 40 children who have been in foster care through the DHS Office of CYF will be finalized in Children’s Court.
“This is a day that gives us a chance to celebrate families that come forth and are willing to say, ‘We’re going to make the Pittsburgh region a better place by adopting children who want to be adopted,’” said Smith. “It’s also an opportunity for us to celebrate the formation of family. And what you see emerge on that day is some of the best parts of people.”
(For more information on preparing to be an adoptive family, contact the DHS Office of Children, Youth and Families Adoption Office at 412-473-2300 or the StateWide Adoption Network (SWAN) at 1-800-585-SWAN (7926) or visit https://www.alleghenycounty.us/dhs/adopt.aspx)
