BILL NEAL
:10 The Masters is Coming, the Masters is Coming, the Masters is Coming…and so is Tiger Woods, and he’s bringing hell with him. (Tombstone…Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp, after they killed his brother.) Come on people try to keep up.
:09 “Champions” High School All-Star Basketball Classic (formerly The Kenny Durrett High School All-Star Basketball Classic) is back on track after a down year last year due to extenuating circumstances beyond our control. But as the saying goes, “Champions Rise to the Occasion…That’s Why They Are Champions.” And rise we did as the 38th annual classic tipped off Sunday, April 7 at the brand spanking new and super magnificent, state of the art Penn Hills High School. Over 1,000 people rolled through on the day to see the middle school girls’ tournament won by Pittsburgh Impact and the boys middle school tournament won by “UMOJA” out of Homewood. The big events on the day saw the WPIAL high school senior girls dominate the Pittsburgh City League girls for the fifth consecutive year with a final score of 58-36. And bringing home the WPIAL sweep, the WPIAL boys won a hard fought contest in a great game over the City League boys, 54-53. The event was a slam-dunk on the day and a “Great” time was had by all. A big thank you goes out to all our sponsors, volunteers, players, coaches, All-Star committee and executive staff, and most especially Chuck Sanders Charities and the Penn Hills Democratic Committee. And a real tip of the hat goes out to Jerry Chippinelli and Phil Scaleri.
:08 “The only mistake you made is you got caught.” (Lee Marvin talking to Charles Bronson when he was getting him out of jail to join The Dirty Dozen) And that was the beginning of Mike Rice Jr.’s problems. Yeah it’s old school coaching. Lord knows we…me…and you…and a bunch of us got worse than that when we played ball back in the day, especially you “Bulldogs”…hell, what Andy Urbanic did to us in Penn Hills would get him 10-20 years in jail today. But, But, But You-Can-Not-Do-It-Today!!! The rough stuff and the loud talking…well, okay. But the slander and the Homo-Phob references and the balls thrown at the family jewels, no can do. Rice will coach again, but you won’t be alive to see it. I’m Just Saying!
:07 Do yourself a favor. Come Friday and until Monday for the next year…Stay your butt off the Parkway East…I am telling ya!
:06 Louisville wins the NCAA just like I said. Take it to the bank! Okay, okay, I really said Indiana. So for the first time in the three years I’ve been writing for this historic newspaper I was wrong. C’mon man!!
:05 Don’t feel bad about “Your” Pittsburgh Pirates being 1 and 5 to start the season. Last year at this time they were 2 and 6. Hope ya feel better.
:04 Here’s your movie review. Shut up and take it like a man…or woman…or whatever! First you got Halle Berry in “The Call.” You remember Halle, don’t you, the Oscar Award winning actress by day and resident Hoochie-Mama by night. (Yeah I said it! She’s about to have her second baby with another baby daddy…what do you call her?) Anyway, the movie was really good and I give it 3 Basketballs. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I promise. And because I love ya and I know you love the reviews, here’s a double dip for ya. Go see “Olympus Has Fallen” with Gerard Butler. He kills a bunch of bad guys and in ugly ways, including stabbing them in the brain. Man I love that stuff. 3 ? Basketballs. Now swallow!
:03 Serena wins again. Some tournament, somewhere. What else is new!?!
:02 In case you haven’t heard “Master Jacquet Bazemore” is back and in superior form. He did The Halftime Show at the All-Star Classic Sunday. All he did was bust up 22 inches of concrete blocks with his head and then run a 12 inch spike through his neck and hang a bucket of bricks from it with a rope…yeah that’s all he did…what! Okay, you don’t believe what my eyes saw, then don’t miss his upcoming show coming up the first of June, you will be amazed at what this man can do.
:01 The University of Pittsburgh lost running back Rushel Shell and center Steve Adams in the same week. In my opinion…no loss at all. Champions Step Up!
:00 Double Overtime. Harlem Nights coming April 26, get ready to get ready. Rayco War Promotions, Five Starr Corporation and the legend, Sly Jock with “Rock ya til we drop ya”— more next week.
:00 Triple Overtime. “Slade” you and the other cats that call me to admit I am wrong about what I am writing about…forget about it…never gonna happen. REMEMBER, THE MAN WITH THE INK PEN IN THE END WINS!