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A few days ago, I fell asleep watching one of the old ‘Lord Of The Rings’ movies. As I drifted off into the darkness of cinema “space” visions of basketball games, hockey games and updates from spring training danced through my head, like bushels of sugar plums. All of a sudden my mind leaped backward to my sports history days. It dawned on my “subconscious” how our present day sports are so different, yet similar to the games of the past. The ancient Greek Olympic Games were a series of athletic competitions held for representatives of various city-states of Ancient Greece in honor of the God Zeus. Now games are being held in cities with names like Cleveland in honor of the God of the Bling.
It is appropriate that the Browns play in Cleveland because according to legend, the original town of “Cleaveland” is a city in England whose name goes back at least a thousand years. There may be disagreement as to the name’s origin, but history seems to suggest that it refers to where the town is located and the name supposedly means “cliff land.” Why does this name seem to fit so perfectly for the team known as the “mistake” by the lake? Well, because as we all know, the recent performances of the Browns have forced many fans to jump from or at least consider jumping from any nearby cliffs. Our present sports are held in arenas not in honor of past and storied Gods but in stadiums where observers think that the athletes are the true Gods; well at least until the GM has to cut them for cap space or they jump ship for a few more Krugerrands.
The ancient games were celebrated until they were suppressed as part of the campaign to impose Christianity as a state religion. Now the games are celebrated with religion imposed as a vital part of the games; if you don’t believe me, ask Tim Tebow? And that’s not all; politics has now become interwoven into the fabric of sports and becomes more entrenched with the performance of each “pitch” deprived version of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ with the performer holding the final word “brave” until it appears as if the eyeballs of that individual are going to pop out of his or her head.
The ancient games were held every four years. Nowadays the “game” can be held once a week, every day or every other day depending on the sport and the dough involved. The prizes for the victors of the ancient Olympiad were wreaths of laurel leaves, which were green. Now the prizes for today’s “pro” athletes are just plain greenbacks. The ancient games became a political tool used by city-states to assert dominance over their rivals. Now city-states have bragging rights. At the old games; politicians would announce political unions. Now they bet cases of beer and sausage. In times of war, priests would offer sacrifices to the Gods. Now sacrifices are made on the waiver wire just before mini-camp.
Back in the day the games were used to spread Hellenistic culture throughout the Mediterranean. Now all hell breaks loose complete with the burning of couches even if the home team wins but especially if the homeboys lose the big one. The Olympics featured religious celebrations and artistic competitions. Every time Troy Polomalu makes a play, he does the sign of the cross. When Big Ben throws a touchdown he points up into the sky. Is he pointing to the God of the United States Constitution, the original God Zeus or is he being the chief meteorologist alerting us to an incoming thunderstorm?
A great statue of Zeus, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, was erected in Olympia to preside over the games. That has now been replaced with the bronze statue of Art Rooney that sits outside of Heinz Field. Sculptors and poets would congregate each Olympiad to display their works of art to would-be patrons. Now vendors push, “brewski” hot dogs and Primanti Bros sandwiches and of course shots of good and bad Irish whiskey. Hold up; is there any such thing as bad Irish whiskey? The ancient Olympics were rather different from the modern Games. There were fewer events, and only free men who spoke Greek could compete. Hey as far as the NFL is concerned they now even employ third down specialists and as far as language goes as long as the athletes are fluent in Ebonics, trailer-parkese, listen to hip-hop, country or rock ‘n’ roll everything is lovely.
The original games were always held at Olympia rather than alternating to different locations as is the tradition with the modern Olympic Games. In the new millennium it is all about home and home series, baby! Am I supposed to keep coming to your yard to play just to keep profit sharing going? I don’t think so, ‘Homey’ don’t play that, unless of course ‘Homey’ is the alter ego of the commissioner of the NFL Roger Goodell? Being described as a clown is mild when compared to some of the other handles justified or not that have been given to the “commish.” I’m going, going, see ya bye.
(Aubrey Bruce can be reached at: abruce@newpittsburghcourier.com or 412-583-6741.)
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